Properly understanding synergy
The essence of synergy is lớn value và respect differences, lớn build on strengths và khổng lồ compensate for weaknesses. The author says that many of us haven’t actually experienced synergy in our family lives or in other interactions. We’ve sầu been shaped inkhổng lồ defensive và protective sầu communications or inkhổng lồ believing that life or other people can’t be trusted. Therefore, we have a tendency to not open up to this highly effective sầu principle which “requires enormous personal security & openness và a spirit of adventure”.
Synergy and communication
Below are 3 different levels of communication & the màn chơi of trust that is associated to lớn each:Defensive communication is of the lowest level and comes out of low-trust situations. It’s characterised by defensiveness, protectiveness và legalistic language which prepares for the eventuality that things may go wrong, that people may become resentful. Such communication isn’t effective và produces only Win/Lose or Lose/Lose outcomes.Respectful communication is characterised by honesty, authentithành phố and respect which produces a low khung of Win/Win, a compromise where 1+1 = 1½.
Covey says that even if there are circumstances in which synergy is not achievable và “No Deal” isn’t viable, the spirit of sincere trying will usually result in a more effective compromise.
The essence of synergy: valuing the differences
Mental, emotional và psychological differences between us mean that we see the world not as it is, but as we are. Recognising our own perceptual limitations và appreciating the rich resources available through the interaction with other human beings takes humility & reverence. Covey illustrates the point that two people can disagree and both be right with an illustration similar to this one:
What vị you see in this picture?
Whilst some of us see a duchồng others will see a rabbit. We’re both looking at the same picture, and both of us are right. We see the same blaông chồng và trắng lines but we interpret them differently because we’ve sầu been conditioned lớn interpret them differently. And the author says that “unless we value the differences in our perceptions, unless we value each other & give sầu credence to the possibility that we’re both right, that life is not always a dichotomous either/or, that there are almost always third alternatives, we will never be able to lớn transcend the limits of that conditioning”. When we see only two alternatives – ours & the “wrong” one – we can look for a synergistic third alternative. According to lớn Covey there’s almost always a third alternative sầu, và if we work with a Win/Win philosophy (Habit 4: Think Win/Win) & really seek lớn understand (Habit 5: Seek first lớn understand, then to be understood), we can usually find a solution that will be better for everyone concerned.
Application suggestions:Make a list of people who irritate you. Do they represent different views that could lead to synergy if you had greater intrinsic security & valued the difference?The next time you have sầu a disagreement or confrontation with someone, attempt to understand the concerns underlying that person’s position. Address those concerns in a creative & mutually beneficial way.
Next week: the last habit of the series, Habit 7: Sharpen the saw